TV

Empire

  1. Episodes 11 - 12 Die But Once/Who I Am
    Empire Recap: Things Fall Apart Empire’s season finale encapsulated the best and worst of what this monster of a show has given audiences these past ten weeks.
  2. Episode 10 Sins of the Father
    Empire Recap: Life With Father Now, that’s how you do a soap opera.
  3. Episode 9 Unto the Breach
    Empire Recap: This Means War Is it wrong to root for the bad guy? 
  4. Episode 8 The Lyon’s Roar
    Empire Recap: In the Name of the King This week’s episode is jam-packed with inconsistencies, making it another prime example of how this show can go from intriguing to inept at a moment’s notice.
  5. Episode 7 Our Dancing Days
    Empire Recap: Modern Family It may take Empire a while to get past its watercooler tawdry-TV beginnings, but this week proves it’ll get there eventually.
  6. Episode 6 Out, Damned Spot
    Empire Recap: Take Me to the River Character inconsistencies abound this week, making for a disappointing episode.
  7. Episode 5 Dangerous Bonds
    Empire Recap: My Girl Got a Girlfriend Lucious gets a clean bill of health by playing dirty, while his sons continue trying to kill each other.
  8. Episode 4 False Imposition
    Empire Recap: Attack on Titan Well, that was a surprisingly good episode.
  9. Episode 3 The Devil Quotes Scripture
    Empire Recap: 100 to 0 Real Quick Everything about this show is starting to seem hideously grotesque.
  10. Episode 2 The Outspoken King
    Empire Recap: Let’s Tame Some Shrews! The women on this show are all kind of terrible.
  11. Episode 1 Pilot
    Empire Series Premiere Recap: I Got Mine This show is an amusing and tacky hot mess.
  1. Episode 18 Past Is Prologue
    Empire Season Finale Recap: Two Weddings and No Funeral Dang, Empire. You got me this time.
  2. Episode 17 Rise By Sin
    Empire Recap: The Big Night They’ve finally done it. This is the perfect Empire episode.
  3. Episode 16 The Lyon Who Cried Wolf
    Empire Recap: American Horror Story The time has come for the question we didn’t dare ask: Has Empire righted itself?
  4. Episode 15 More Than Kin
    Empire Recap: The Ballad of Boo Boo Kitty When Lucious hears bad news, he always jumps to murder.
  5. Episode 14 Time Shall Unfold
    Empire Recap: Dwight Walker’s Revenge When Empire just strips everything down, it really shines.
  6. Episode 13 The Tameness of a Wolf
    Empire Recap: Happy Birthday, Cookie Oh no, the Hakeem face is still in the opening credits.
  7. Episode 12 A Rose by Any Other Name
    Empire Recap: Hakeem & Cleopatra Everything on this show is a Shakespearean metaphor or a thinly veiled dick allusion.
  8. Episode 11 Death Will Have His Day
    Empire Recap: Cookie Lyon Paper Company We’re really leaning into this Godfather thing, huh?
  9. Episode 10 Et Tu, Brute
    Empire Recap: Is You Is or Is You Ain’t? Um, Jamal. You know you can be bisexual, right?
  10. Episode 9 Sinned Against
    Empire Recap: Crackhouse Walking Tour Cookie and Candace are all business in Philadelphia.
  11. Episode 8 My Bad Parts
    Empire Recap: Softer Than Butter How does Empire do an entire episode about rap beef in 2015 without mentioning Meek Mill?
  12. Episode 7 True Love Never
    Empire Recap: The Return of Mimi Complex characters? Logical plot development? This can’t be Empire.
  13. Episode 6 A High Hope for a Low Heaven
    Empire Recap: Doin’ Too Much Symbolism was never your strong suit, Empire.
  14. Episode 5 Be True
    Empire Recap: It’s a Wonderful Gutter Life This episode was flipping tremendous.
  15. Episode 4 Poor Yorick
    Empire Recap: My Heart Can’t Take It This show is what I see when my close my eyes at night to dream.
  16. Episode 3 Fires of Heaven
    Empire Recap: What Can’t Cookie Do? Is Empire set in a universe where the majority of hip-hop artists exist but also somehow don’t? 
  17. Episode 2 Without a Country
    Empire Recap: Hashtags Do Come True I’m ready for the Better Call Thirsty spinoff after Empire is finished. 
  18. Episode 1 The Devils Are Here
    Empire Season Two Premiere Recap: Double-Crossing Divas This episode wasn’t so much of a thrill ride as expert table-setting and reminders of the damage these people are capable of doing. 
  1. Episode 18 Toil and Trouble, Part 2
    Empire Season Finale Recap: Who? That was a legitimately great twist.
  2. Episode 17 Toil and Trouble, Part 1
    Empire Recap: Ocean’s Fifty-Eleven It was only a matter of time until Empire pulled off a legit heist.
  3. Episode 16 Absent Child
    Empire Recap: Last Name, Lyon Damn, Nia Long.
  4. Episode 15 Civil Hands Unclean
    Empire Recap: Drop It Like It’s Hot How hasn’t Snoop Dogg appeared on this show before?
  5. Episode 14 Love Is a Smoke
    Empire Recap: The (Nia) Long Con Cookie, let those two trash fires burn hot together. You are seriously better off.
  6. Episode 13 My Naked Villainy
    Empire Recap: For My Queens Apparently, Lucious suffers from myasthenia gravis, and this is the first that any of us are hearing of it.
  7. Episode 12 Strange Bedfellows
    Empire Recap: Happy Birthday, Hakeem! Oh, someone is definitely getting shot by the end of this season.
  8. Episode 11 Play On
    Empire Recap: The Devil’s Chord How many more guest stars can Empire throw at us?
  9. Episode 10 Sound & Fury
    Empire Recap: Batter Up Cookie has officially declared war against Lucious.
  10. Episode 9 A Furnace for Your Foe
    Empire Recap: Follow the Money Takeem is the absolute worst couple name.
  11. Episode 8 The Unkindest Cut
    Empire Recap: The Fashion Show “The Unkindest Cut” is a stunner of an episode.
  12. Episode 7 What We May Be
    Empire Recap: Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner Welcome to Empire, Phylicia Rashad!
  13. Episode 6 Chimes at Midnight
    Empire Recap: Hacked A cautionary tale about private email servers and nude photos.
  14. Episode 4 Cupid Kills
    Empire Recap: Lucifer Lyon Empire is really taking the ridiculousness to new heights.
  15. Episode 3 What Remains Is Bestial
    Empire Recap: Mutually Assured Destruction Mariah Carey is flawless.
  16. Episode 2 Sin That Amends
    Empire Recap: Post-Traumatic Lyon Disorder I love you, Empire, but I don’t know if you’re the right show to take on police brutality.
  17. Episode 1 Light in Darkness
  1. Episode 4 Bleeding War
    Empire Recap: Me, Myself, and Lucious Finally, an answer to the question: Who else is a recording artist at Empire Records?
  2. Episode 3 Evil Manners
    Empire Recap: Who Is Lucious Lyon? Amnesia Lucious is not carrying his weight.
  3. Episode 2 Full Circle
    Empire Recap: Memory Lane Remember when this show was vaguely about music?
  4. Episode 1 Noble Memory
    Empire Season-Premiere Recap: The Big Bang “I’m Cookie Lyon. I’m unforgettable.”

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